I do not want to pretend

Since God has revealed to me the religious state that was mine, and he has delivered me from it, I have always tried not to become it again. When we become one, we do not realize it. We are numb and freeze, and we feel good. We are numb while praising God and doing a lot of spiritual things. We have an image of the Christian life, we sometimes look to the right and to the left to see if others live the same thing as us, and we are comforted when we see that they are like us. Noah refused to do that. Moses, Ezekiel, Jeremiah and the prophets also. John the Baptist, Jesus, and the apostles, were also radically different from their contemporaries.

The false Christian life is to have the appearance, the language, and even the actions of religion, and to fall asleep while having these things. The false Christian life is to call oneself a Christian while keeping one's life. It's a lot of appearances, a lot of hypocrisy, a lot of fears, it's a refusal to look at our spiritual condition in depth and with truth.

The Holy Spirit says : "Wake up, O sleeping, lift up from the dead" (Ephesians 5:14). I do not know about you, but I do not want to fall asleep. I want to face things. If I do not bear fruit, then I do not bear fruit. I do not want to pretend and hide behind prayer. If I do not like reading the Bible, well I want to tell God, I do not want to pretend. If I do not have a heart for people to the point of dying to myself, I want to face my heart and confront it. I decided to walk in the truth! I decided to look at things the way they are, even if it hurts, even if it's painful ! I have chosen, accepted and desired that God enlighten me on the reality of my fruits, of my spiritual life. I decided not to hide my sins but to expose them before God so that he would rid me of them. Yes, I refuse to believe that I am on fire for the Lord while I fall asleep. I refuse not to ask myself the question, "Am I boiling for the Lord ?".

Jeremy Sourdril