The hardest part of faith

Jesus told Gethsemane : "My soul is sad unto death" (Matthew 26:38). Can you imagine the Son of God enduring a night of confusion ? Did not He know that He was going to proclaim a complete victory over hell and death ? Did he not have an innate sense of direction and destiny, knowing that the Father was with him ?

It has been said by generations of Christians that the hardest part of faith is the last half hour. I would like to add a word here to say that the night of confusion often comes just before victory, just before the darkness recedes and the light begins to point.

Just before the power of Satan is broken, you will face a night of devastating confusion. In this hour, it seems to you that all direction has gone and that the goal has disappeared. The feeling of the presence of the Spirit of God on which you once leaned seems to have evaporated. You find yourself saying with Job : "If the Lord is at work, I do not perceive it" (see Job 23: 8).

There are many in the Body of Christ who face moral problems similar to those of David. In their night of confusion, they ask : "Lord, why me ? My heart was searching for you when my sin overwhelmed me. My soul is tormented. I do not understand."

Do not think for a second that a person who has been used powerfully by God has all the answers. I know what it's like to face this divine silence in a night of confusion. I know how you feel when you're going through a period of tumult and perplexity, without any clear direction. All my usual patterns of direction and discernment were useless. I just could not see the path I had to follow and I was reduced to shouting : "Lord, what happened ? I do not know where to go."

We will all face this night. But, thanks to God, this is a time that will pass. The Lord wants our path to be clear. He promised : "I will turn to you with tender mercies." And He will do it for us, His children, extending to us His mercy, in our times of isolation.

David Wilkerson