Times of agony and despair

There are times when our prayer room becomes a battlefield. We have to go through there. The disciples prayed, saying : "And now, Lord, be careful with their threats and give your servants to speak your word with full assurance, deploy your power for healing, miraculous signs, and wonders by the name of your holy servant Jesus !" (Acts 4: 29-30).

We are used to reading this text and we do not realize the fervor of this prayer. The disciples were not giving lip service to asking brother so-and-so to "raise his voice in the midst of the congregation". It was a prayer of the heart, it was a prayer of agony and despair. The disciples realized their enormous need for the power of God. They knew that if God did not come forth, they could not fulfill God's will. They absolutely wanted to see healings, miracles and wonders. This prayer flowed from their hearts thirsting for fulfillment. They did not pray to close the prayer meeting, as is often done for appearance. They did not pray because there was a need. I do not know how to explain it to you, but this prayer was not a simple prayer. We pray so often. Many Christians pray to pray, in the manner of the religious. "I have to pray," they think. And they pray. But this kind of prayer is not answered.

The agony prayer is a prayer of determination. We are totally determined to receive the answer from God, as if it is impossible for God not to answer. Sometimes we reach such a point that we would rather die if he did not answer us. I have already reached this condition of heart many times, and the only thread left to hold me back was my wife and daughter. The agony prayer does not try and does not imitate. It is the condition of the heart of a person who absolutely wants to get what she asked for, because she is convinced that what she is asking for is in God's will.

Jeremy Sourdril